she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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