You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Houston, we have a blender
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
