Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
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Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We left an ass print on the piano.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.