Are we in a gay sports bar?
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
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You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment