glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.