dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
