Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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