dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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