And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
