he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
