Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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