Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
