I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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