he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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