i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
