His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
