You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
