no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
