i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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