Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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