So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Two words: nipple clamps
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