it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
