So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
