I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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