Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
