we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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