he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
