Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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