does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
