Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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