i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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