when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
