I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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