Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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