just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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