Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
