So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
