your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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