good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize