yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
