He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
