Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
