'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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