Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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(417): And my fence, why is part of it on the roof? http://tfl.nu/v3wp

Replies (6) Good night (5148) Bad night (1053)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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(727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix

Replies (105) Good night (38903) Bad night (1946)
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(305): View more from Florida

We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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(305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu

Replies (26) Good night (5651) Bad night (899)
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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.

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(406): Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast. http://tfl.nu/9556

Replies (18) Good night (6375) Bad night (945)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought

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(816): Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought http://tfl.nu/gjm9

Replies (9) Good night (672) Bad night (2936)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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(617): And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not... http://tfl.nu/7o3n

Replies (13) Good night (1001) Bad night (3573)
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(714): View more from California

IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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(714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX http://tfl.nu/wmyf

Replies (12) Good night (2277) Bad night (1193)
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(206): View more from Washington

Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed

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(206): Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed http://tfl.nu/023t

Replies (1) Good night (1809) Bad night (516)
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(316): View more from Kansas

As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.

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(316): As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on. http://tfl.nu/xyx3

Replies (6) Good night (603) Bad night (3636)
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(847): View more from Illinois

My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.

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(847): My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan. http://tfl.nu/ww9p

Replies (10) Good night (2397) Bad night (547)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

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(815): I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/jgbm

Replies (10) Good night (715) Bad night (1131)
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(937): View more from Ohio

They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.

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(937): They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/o7iw

Replies (6) Good night (1661) Bad night (417)
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(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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(770): My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways. http://tfl.nu/0awx

Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (711)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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(937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj

Replies (13) Good night (3001) Bad night (548)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.

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(336): Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully. http://tfl.nu/zl7k

Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (418)

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