so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
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okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer