Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.

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  (303): you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it. http://tfl.nu/a3f5
  Replies (9) Good night (826) Bad night (4331)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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  (301): let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child." http://tfl.nu/sqg2
  Replies (18) Good night (5728) Bad night (2861)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this

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  (214): Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this http://tfl.nu/7qd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1451) Bad night (4098)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."

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  (716): He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches." http://tfl.nu/amaz
  Replies (5) Good night (2910) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2906) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.

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  (215): He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule. http://tfl.nu/c0gm
  Replies (11) Good night (3192) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  DIN'T JUSGE NE.

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  (360): DIN'T JUSGE NE. http://tfl.nu/13q1
  Replies (15) Good night (4334) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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  (916): WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!! http://tfl.nu/wbdy
  Replies (10) Good night (1080) Bad night (2761)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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  (817): I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes? http://tfl.nu/cea8
  Replies (15) Good night (3023) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me

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  (206): She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me http://tfl.nu/zp1n
  Replies (11) Good night (2304) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.

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  (719): I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in. http://tfl.nu/k5k2
  Replies (11) Good night (2449) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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  (434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh
  Replies (0) Good night (709) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra

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  (410): it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra http://tfl.nu/z3o4
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.

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  (805): Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves. http://tfl.nu/hmsm
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.

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  (954): I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair. http://tfl.nu/we6x
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (162)

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