He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
where are you?
Hypothermia
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
