Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
