one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Someone shit on the floor
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
