if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
