So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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