do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize