You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
