stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
