Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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