Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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