Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
