question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
