The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
