I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
