Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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