Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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