the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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