Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
