He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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